Being A Casino Widow

Being a gambling widow isn't always easy but as I discovered, if you can't beat 'em - join 'em.

I knew my partner was a gambler before we got together - I think it was one of the things that attracted me to him, part of his happy-go-lucky attitude, but I guess I didn't realise how much it ruled his life until we moved in together.

He would bet on anything; football, horse racing, greyhounds, casinos - you name it he'd bet on it, online, in the bookies and at the events themselves. The fact he bet on so many events meant there was always something on - football matches on Saturday, weekend horse meetings, greyhound racing in the evenings and seemingly endless access to casinos.

Taking On The Sports Challenge

In the end I decided to bite the bullet and accompany him to some of the events - after all, a day at the races or dogs is just a day out, it's not all about the gambling (or so I thought!). We went to the horse racing on his birthday and the dogs slightly before and by the end of both he came out significantly down, I came out slightly up but the buzz of winning was just amazing. It didn't matter that I was betting a pittance compared to his extravagant bets. To be fair when he won, he won big but that wasn't important to me I just liked the thrill off beating the bookies. I felt like I had a system, but choosing a horse because the jockey is wearing a nice hat or a greyhound because it has a funny name probably isn't too scientific.

To Boldly Go

Following the relative success of the greyhounds and the horse racing I decided to try a casino. I'm not sure what I expected - half of me was expecting a seedy, smoky room with leering men and sticky carpets, the other half was expecting the luxury of the James Bond films, glamorous women, cocktails I wouldn't be able to pronounce and a dress code I would never pass - luckily enough the reality was neither!

The dealers were friendly but in a professional way, swearing was distinctly frowned upon, there was a restaurant and people were actually drinking coffee - though if they were planning on staying until the place closed at about 6am they would probably need it!

I met up with my partner there. Obviously he'd been warming up, and we first tried our luck at roulette - this was a simple game of no skill, complete luck and ideal for a spendthrift beginner like myself. I left the table roughly level but remembered the buzz of the few spins I won much more than the upset of the tens of spins I lost. The thing that struck me about it however was how hectic it was, people running between the roulette tables placing bets on 'their' numbers and putting on so many bets where I would have lost count. I felt a strange sense of respect for the dealers who had to hold it all together and watch about a dozen different things at once while being seen to be impartial.

Once I had gained some confidence, or my partner had got bored, I can't remember which, we moved on to BlackJack - another seemingly simple game where you have to get a hand of cards that add up to closer to 21 than the dealer's. The advantage to the player is that the house (dealer), unlike the player has to hold at 17. It got more complicated with splitting and doubling but overall I quite enjoyed it and could see how the hours seemed to tick away so quickly for my partner while he was there. I had begun to lose track of the times he'd return at 5.30am saying he'd been to the casino but for once I could understand it. Unlike the horses and the dogs it was partly about the winning but partly about the atmosphere - I could just go and people watch for hours as you see people risk thousands on the turn of a card - though I doubt the casino would allow me to take up gambling as a spectator sport!

What Next?

Now I had mastered the art of so many gambling activities it seemed there was only one final frontier - the big one, the mother of all gambling obsessions - Texas Hold 'Em Poker. Being a terrible liar, blusher and giggler I decided that the best way to play Texas Hold 'Em was online. Once my partner had set me up online there was no stopping me; low entry fee for competitions - £2-ish - and the satisfaction of beating 'real' people is addictive. I had to stop myself playing as I was becoming as obsessed as him but I didn't win!

Experience

I can say the whole experience of joining my partner at gambling has been a good one - I've made him become slightly more sensible with the amount he bets and I understand a big part of his life that I didn't before. If he doesn't come home 'til half 5am I know he's at the casino and not just playing me for a fool and if he's playing online I can always watch without making stupid remarks like that of a five year old. "What you doing? Why? What does that do?"

It's good to take an interest in your partners' hobbies and gambling is no exception but to become obsessed is unhealthy. Yes, gambling could be considered slightly different to most hobbies as it involves money but so do most others, as long as you trust you partner and have an understanding of what is acceptable to bet, there's no need for any problems and it is something you can enjoy together. Whether it's an annual flutter on the Grand National or a weekly trip to your local casino. With the introduction of the National Lottery gambling is no longer taboo or a hobby linked to old men in macs and caps, who smoke pipes. It is a growing hobby for men and women wanting to spice up their free time, have fun and perhaps just make some money into the bargain.

By Ellen Browne

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